Rewriten Nursery Rhymes

Jack and Jill Went up the hill
To have a little fun
Stupid Jill Forgot the pill
And now they have a son.

Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead
Now it goes to school with her
Between two hunks of bread

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet,
Her clothes all tattered and torn.
It wasn't the spider that crept up beside her
But Little Boy Blue and his horn.

Simple Simon met a Pie man
Going to the fair
Said Simple Simon to the Pie man "What have you got there?"
Said the Pie man unto Simon
"Pies, you dipshit!"

There was a little girl,
who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead
And when she was good,
she was very, very good
But when she was bad
she got a fur coat, jewels, a sports car......

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the kings horses and all the kings men
had scrambled eggs on toast for breakfast

Hickory dickory dock,
Three mice ran up the clock
the clock struck one,
and the others got away with minor injuries

Hey diddle, diddle,
the cat did a piddle,
all over the bedside clock,
The little dog laughed
to see such fun
And the cat died of electric shock.

Mary had a little lamb,
It walked into a pylon,
10,000 volts went up it's ass,
And turned it's wool to nylon.

Georgie Porgy Pudding and Pie
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play
He kissed them too 'cause he was gay

Tantra tees

These & more Tantra t-shirts can be bought at motichoor.com

Funny Billboards

World after ten years!!

Impact of Job Change!

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window.
For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said: "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!".
The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much."
The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver - I've been driving a van carrying dead Bodies for the last 25 years

...But how do I write?

Iraqi Missile Launcher!

Church Says...

Male or Female?

ZIPLOC BAGS - male, because they hold everything in, but you can always seeright through them.
SWISS ARMY KNIFE - male, because even though it appears useful for a widevariety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles.
KIDNEYS - female, because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.
SHOE - male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging out.
COPIER - female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up. Andbecause it is an effective reproductive device when the right buttons arepushed. And because it can wreak havoc when the wrong buttons are pushed.
TIRE - male, because it goes bald and often is over inflated.
HOT AIR BALLOON - male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to light afire under it and, of course, there's the hot air part.
SPONGES - female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.
WEB PAGE - female, because it is always getting hit on.
HOURGLASS - female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.
HAMMER - male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 years, butit's handy to have around.
REMOTE CONTROL - female Ha! You thought it would be male. But consider; itgives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't alwaysknow the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.

perfect christmas gift for men!